...To Make a Long Story Short...

Taken is a great movie if you're into pointless characters, plot holes, women in refrigerators, mindless action, and/or Liam Neeson. You know who likes movies like that?

This guy right here.

You probably can't tell but I'm pointing both of my thumbs at myself right now. 

Well probably not right now, like when you're reading this, I don't point my thumbs at myself all day in hopes of timing that up right, that would be weird. But if I was telling you about the movie face to face then the part where I said "This guy right here." would be when I point at myself.  

Ok.

Taken stars Liam Neeson as a former non-agency specific, government 'preventer'.  Now retired from what I can only assume was training Jack Bauer - a job which cost him his marriage to his wife Lenore, played by Famke Janssen. Which by the way, I would like to take a quick second to call bull shit on any job that takes you away from Famke Janssen - , so he can spend more time with his daughter Kim, played by Maggie Grace.

For the simplicity of the story itself, the entirety of which you already know if you've seen the preview, it takes a long time getting there.  The first 30 minutes, of this 94 minute movie, is a clichéd snore fest about his relationship with his daughter, his inability to compete financially with his ex's new millionaire husband, rehashing old war stories with his non-retired buddies, and a pointless job he takes protecting a would-be starlet. All of which just used to demonstrate that:

A. He loves his daughter and knows her better than other people.

B. His job has made him paranoid for good reason.

C. He's a bad ass.

There, feel free to walk into the movie 30 minutes late.  Which is where the movie gets good anyway.  At that point, Neeson does manage to suppress the gratuitous "I told you so" once his daughter gets kidnapped, which I thought was classy of him. And from then on its pretty much him cutting a swath through nameless ethnic "bad guys" with an ease and style that would make a, circa 1985, Arnold Schwarzenegger jealous.

Taken is enjoyable enough that I don't think anyone would regret going to see this in the theater; you're just better off saving this for a rainy day rental.